:(

Alright, look at my blog, not alot of emo post, cause i am not emo kind, and i believe this world is filled with positive things but now i am really stressed.

I believe some people are going to korea at the end of the year, i really wish to go too, however, i backed out before 3 months after the plan, sorry guys.

i do admit i have some money at first, that is because i was doing some extreme saving technique.

Start of this year, i started to save, i have 60 dollar of allowance a week, so i save 40 dollar a week, 1 month 160 dollar, i only spent 20 dollar, 10 dollar for travelling 10 dollar for food, indeed in one months i saved many money, but i lost weight cause i only eat 1 meal a day, and its school cai bun, 90 days straight of cai bun. Then i find i am dying so i decided to back out.

And i agree i could work, but start of the year i have to prepare for Beijing and Paris trip, for these both competitions i cannot squeeze out anytime, i have to plan jam and 2 single in 3 months time, and at the end i can only train my paris combo 2 week before the comp, so cannot work >.<

Paris trip won me some money, but when i have money my mom dun give me allowance, and she dun support me go korea or skate, or oversea competitions or whatsoever, so i used them up quickly.

The prize money is 400 sing dollar, 100 dollar to buy 2 jeans for skating(its ex i know but i need for comp) i left a 100 for other expenses, so i could go out for movies and all, but its only 5 movies and i had them all planned out, each and every cent. 200 eat, travel.

now i have $0 opps :x

i actually threw my cat out to save money, thats how extreme it is. I don't smoke almost 100% cause i have no money at all and now my contact lens solutions is out and i am using over used solution for 2 days.

I need to prepare for the wsc single and jam, and i dun want to lose anytime, but now i have to work to cover my own expeneses, i already lost 1 day, sunday gona work from now on, tuesday school till 9.30pm, so left with mon, wed, thur, fri, sat. 4 days a week.

I aim to be world no.1 in Shanghai WSC this year, its been 3 years and i still cannot reach it, if this year still cannot get then i am dam useless already, seems like my best is not enough, i better come down to earth if thats the case.

I feel dam useless now. The thought of money and skate then my school so sucky i dam stress already, life really sux, especially for a skater, or particularly skater like me >.<